In the bar at my old work tonight
guys were talking sports
it sounded like calculus
someone played Add It Up on the jukebox
I maintained my composure
by making some joke I can’t remember
about the girl that kept telling me I had a big package
she grabbed it on her way out
I made another joke and rode home with my sister

I was completely out of my normal element tonight
it didn’t help me any
I wrote notes to you in the margins of paper bar coasters:

"I hate having to go through all of your shit"
"Why did you leave you fucking asshole"
"killing yourself was the most beautiful thing you’ve ever done"

I felt like little Suzy homemaker all weekend with guests over
I think you’d be proud of how well I’ve managed not to just go fuck shit crazy.